Monday, June 29, 2009

Claiming out of this pit!

The time has come for change in my life. I did not choose the time for this change. God seems to know more and better than I do what is best for my life. This was not in my "Plan." Why can't things go according to "plan?" The change that I am referring to is the fact that I have recently been laid off of my job. I cannot say that this came as a total surprise. I just chose to ignore all the warning signs because I was comfortable with the job. Anthony and myself are going to have to make some real grown up life choices and not the easy ones.

I went home this past weekend and I got really HOMESICK. I do not know if it had anything to do with being alone while dealing with this life crisis or what but I really miss BC. I miss my family, friends and just the place. It is an unexplainable feeling that I get when I go there. I feel like I can physically breathe easier. Life is less complicated and I can be me! The problem is I can't get a job there well I guess it wouldn't be much different than here! I want to move back to BC so bad but do not know if that will be best for Anthony and I. There are so many questions to answer too. Where would we stay? Where would I work? Well guess there's not as many as I thought! HA HA

Stephen called me today and there is a job in Tuscaloosa that he thinks I would be good for. Do I want to live in Tuscaloosa? Not really but if it means work I guess I could. I wouldn't have two families to see on the weekends, just one because the other would already be there. I think pretty much no matter what Anthony and I are going to be moving from Hattiesburg. I really hate being here without my family to help me get through this emotional time.

I am trying very, very hard to pull myself out of this self-pity pit that I have dug. One more week and Anthony will be home and everything will be better then.